Hello? Are you there?

Who me?

Oh you mean, because I haven't posted since July??

Well, yes. I'm here.

Alive and well. 

It seems that if you don't use your blog as a business, social media takes care of all the 

"life updates"

I don't even really remember why I have this blog.

So, I guess for the 5 readers out there that like to see what's happening in my life on Instagram, Facebook AND my blog,

this post is for you my friends.

You. are. welcome.

So... let's start in August shall we?

We decided to take advantage of the cool mountain weather and get out the swealtering valley heat, so we headed up to the Graham mountains to do some campin!

We had found a perfect spot which ended up being reserved for someone else and we were forced to move. I was not happy about it, but it turned out to be an okay spot in the end. It rained on us a few times, which made for muddy children, muddy tents and muddy trailers, but when then again, camping will do that.

Next to the campground was this big open meadow. 

I, of course, had to take advantage and get some pictures. 

My family hates that.

(Yes, Jason included)

Maybe Navy will grow to love it and always be happy and willing to pose for me.

Right now, we have to bribe her with keys or something (see below)

Okay, meadow pictures done. You can go play now!

  

On our last day, we went to find the lava caves? Or maybe it was the wind caves?

I can't remember.

That's what happens when you don't blog in almost 4 months.

It was a great weekend with my mom's family and it was great to get home and shower as well.

Okay, moving on.

Next, my big 4 year old started preschool.

He has been in preschool for a year already, but now he goes 4 days a week for 3 hours a day. 

He loves it so far.

Okay, are we on to September now?

At the end of the month we went up to an orchard about an hour from my parents house to pick apples. 

Delicious.

We also, drum roll please.....

.........................

MOVED INTO OUR NEW HOUSE!!

Finally!

It was a great day to at last be in our own home again.

Aaaaah.

I'm sure Jason's parents were jumping for joy too!

We have been in a little over a month now and I LOVE IT!

I love the neighborhood especially.

Camden has made so many  new friends and so have I.

It is so awesome. 

Wanna move out here too?

I promise you'll love it!

Think about it?

October it is then...

Our first October adventure,

the pumpkin patch.

Jason was at school, so he missed out that day.

Story of our life. 

(For the next 7 years)

YAY med school!

Moving on...

The kids each picked out a pumpkin, 

Camden picked Jasons. 

Navy had a hard time deciding, they all looked too fun.

Pumpkin carving!

Yay! Jason's home!

 Jason was too busy helping Camden carve his pumpkin, that he didn't get to carve his.

Homework and dinner were more important.

Story of his life.

HALLOWEEN!

I wanted to get some pictures of the kids' in their costumes in the good light, but Camden wouldn't come outside, so Navy flew solo. That is why there are so many pictures of her.

It's not that I choose favorites.

But, I do have to say, she probably is the cutest mermaid I've ever seen. 

And look at those shells! They are natural if you're wondering.

Heading out to trick or treat.

There's Camden!

My studly football player!

Go sparkys!

These last four are just because I think they are so cute. 

I can't make any promises, but I'll try to post again soon. 

If not, 

Then I guess I'll see you in February!

Happy November!

Believing It

Remember last post when I wanted 4:30 Camden?

Remember when I wanted tantrums?

{Insert sigh here}

Honestly.

Camden and I have been at odds lately.

Since he got home basically.

His life has changed a lot in the last couple of months.

He's adjusting.

(At least, that's what I keep telling myself)

We moved into Jason's parents' house.

His toys are packed.

He has 6 parents here instead of just 2.

His dad got married and moved to a new house.

Then his dad's wife moved out.

That's a lot of adjustments for a four year old.

It would be a lot of adjustment for an adult!

I have been having some serious inner conflict trying to understand how to handle all of this patiently and sympathetically without letting him get away with things he shouldn't,

how to apply the appropriate amount of punishment,

how to get him out of this funk he's in,

how to get my happy Camden back.

I'm sure things like this take time, but we are in for more big adjustments just around the corner.

He starts a new school next week.

We will be moving in a couple of months

His dad is moving again (and who knows what kind of surprises are in store in the future with him!)

I try, I really do.

I try to be patient and talk kindly. 

I try to give him choices, I try to spend time with him.

Nothing seems to be helping and I was on the verge of tears after one very long day last week. and called Jason to tell him Navy is our last and final child. I would NOT be doing this stage of life 3,4,5 more times.

It's exhausting and by 2:30, I just want to give up. And cry.

Navy is teething and is up ALL night.

This is,of course, also exhausting.

I do not remember this stage with Camden.

He woke up one morning with two little teeth. That was it.

No crying. No fevers. No runny noses. No 40 minute naps or 3 hour crying sessions at 1 a.m.

{Insert sigh here}

I know what you're thinking...

"Okay Johnny Raincloud!"

or

"Geez Debbie Downer"

or maybe

"First.World.Problems"

And you would be right.

I'm sure the blogging world does not want to hear about how naughty my 4 year old is.

Or how I'm so tired because my 8 month old is fussy.

Or that I'm breaking out and I hate my haircut.

(Oh did I not mention that?)

But doesn't it seem like others in blog and especially pinterest-land have it so together?

Now, I am sure they do not. 

I'm sure they have naughty toddlers and restless babies.

I'm sure they get zits and have bad hair days.

But of course, we only see the best of things on pinterest.

We compare the worst of us to the best of "them"

"THEM"

We don't even know these women and yet we let their achievements and talents dictate how we view ourselves.

Do you think our moms had this kind of pressure when they were raising us?

I don't think so. 

Because there were no blogs.

There was no facebook.

No pinterest.

These days, we feel so much pressure to be "super moms"

To run marathons and do crossfit.

To be a photographer.

To make our own organic baby food.

To plan elaborate birthday parties with handmade favors and decorations.

To be fashionable.

To plan daily learning activities for our children.

To home school our children.

To sew our daughter's dresses and our son's bow ties.

To prepare freezer meals once a week.

To make our house look Pottery Barn catalog worthy.

To keep our house clean all the time.

Honestly. It's exhausting. {insert sigh here}

And unfair because there are probably only a handful of women that do ALL these things. 

But when we don't do them, we feel like a failure as a wife and mother.

 And don't these comparisons usually seem to happen on days/weeks/months when we are feeling particularly low in self esteem? 

You start thinking one negative thing about yourself,

something you didn't do,

how you look,

how much you weigh,

how you lost your patience,

and then it just snowballs.

One negative thought leads to another that leads to another and you end up feeling worse.

I have struggled with that the past couple weeks.

I feel inadequate.

This morning I made a promise to myself to stop those negative thoughts today.

To replace a negative thought or feeling with a positive one.

To remember a blessing from my Heavenly Father.

I prayed that I would see myself the way He sees me.

I prayed that He would help me remember my divine potential.

His purpose for me.

There are so many things I wish I was.

Things I wish I did.

I wish I was noteworthy.

But I am trying to remember what I bring to the table.

Why am I important to His plan?

I know I am of worth but sometimes I just need help believing it.

King of Wishful Thinking

The diary of the DeWitt's is a bit boring it seems. 

My apologies. 

Nothing really exciting happens to us I guess. And I'm not one of those people that can conjure up a little wit and make something out of nothing. 

Motherhood can be funny sure, but mostly, it's like groundhog day. 

Wake up at the same time, feed your kids the same cereal, do the same chores, say the same disciplinary phrases, make the same amount of bottles. 

And sure, marriage is fun. 

Jason sometimes makes me laugh so hard my stomach hurts. But then again, I think we're the only ones that think our jokes are funny. 

{At least we make each other laugh}

 If I could somehow transform my every day life into worth while reading, I certainly would, you betcha. If I could take amazing photographs of my everyday life, I certainly would.

But alas, I am no writer. And I am no photographer. 

What I CAN do, is give you updates!

Don't seem so excited...

Our house has sold! What a ginormous blessing!

The buyers want a June 28th close date, so it looks like we'll be saying goodbye to our first home in just a couple weeks. 

Will it be sad?

Yes. But only a little.

Our new home is still under construction and as of yesterday, the concrete has been poured!

They are still estimating that it will be done in September as long as the weather cooperates.

Camden will be gone for 10 DAYS! My heart will be a little broken until he is home again safe and sound. The night before he left, I had a nervous breakdown.

I cried. 

I tried to seek comfort from my sleeping husband, but a kiss on the forehead was all he could muster up at such a late hour. 

So I went and got in bed with Camden. I held his hand and quietly cried. I didn't want him to go.

Ten days is too long. 

I was overcome with anxiety thinking about everything that could go wrong. 

And then, with a giant exhale, he rolled over and put his arm over me, still asleep, but somehow knowing I was there. 

He's my soulmate. 

It's been so quiet here without him. And I don't mean that in a good way.

No one to run circles around Navy while shouting nonsense.

No one to jump off the couch making superhero sounds.

No one to ask, "Mom, will you play with me?"

I don't like the quiet.

I want tantrums, and time outs, and laughter and words of affirmation to his sister.

I want the silliness. 

I want 4:30 Camden. 

I want groundhog day!

What will I do this week?!

It is already so B O R I N G and it has only been 24 hours.

Yes, I know, I should be grateful for a quiet house and loads of free time,

but I'm not. 

(Anxiety remember?)

I blame my mother. 

She is quite the worrier,

And has instilled this quality in me. 

Thanks mom!

It's true, that I have a whole house to pack and I SHOULD take advantage of doing so 'preschooler free'. And I probably will by day 6 or 7 when the boredom has driven me bonkers. 

Oh, and if you're going to suggest that I go shopping to pass the time, don't. 

I am on a strict shopping diet these days. 

(New house remember?)

Moving on!

 This little lovie is six months old now. 

I feel like she was just a fetus!

A little starfish in my uterus, and now she's here,

and sitting up all by herself.

 She is always full of smiles, especially for mommy.

Which breaks Daddy's heart a little. 

If this girl plays her cards right, all she'll have to do is show a little favoritism toward Mom, and Daddy will give her whatever she wants. 

She's been doing this with her Papa since she was 3 months old. 

Don't worry, I'll have her on a balance beam in no time! 

Do they make leotards for babies?

 June 5th marked the two year anniversary of our engagement.

To celebrate, we drove to the place where the magic happened.

Two years ago, we drove to this spot. 

We parked under this tree.

We listened to music and looked at the stars.

We slow danced. 

We talked about how we could see the Gila Valley temple in the distance.

We talked about how we had picked a perfect location to call our "spot"

We talked about our past "spots" with past people 

They will never be as magic as this one we agreed

And we were right.

Because this is the place where he put a ring on it.

 We tried to estimate the exact spot and thought this was pretty close.

Can you feel the love?!

So anyway, if any of you wishes to alleviate my boredom next week, 

please, feel free to come over. Or invite me to lunch.

9 days and counting!