It was three years ago today.
Jason and I got married.
It was a hot July Friday.
But….
Let's rewind to five days before.
I was just finishing my stay here in Mesa before I headed back to Thatcher.
It was a Sunday.
Jason and I had gone to his singles ward together.
We had been engaged for 28 days.
(We dated for 20 before the proposal)
I had submitted my request for a temple sealing cancellation the week prior.
I had been separated 7 months, officially divorced 6 1/2 weeks.
J and I were hanging out at his house, waiting to head over to his parents' for dinner before I would get Camden back from his dad and head home.
We talked about how we would miss each other that week.
We talked about what day I would come back. Thursday? Friday?
What would we do that weekend?
We talked about wedding dates.
October sounded good.
My cancellation should be in by then.
………
But what if it wasn't?
What if we waited all that time to get married in the temple, just to have to get married civilly anyway?
I never wanted to take away the experience of the temple wedding day for Jason.
The sealing, the luncheon, the reception.
I would never want to rob him of that day.
We wanted to be sealed in the temple, yes, but I also didn't want him to miss out on the traditional experience of it all. That's why we were waiting for my cancellation.
But he told me he didn't care.
"What if we wait until October, your cancellation doesn't come, we get married civilly, and then have to wait a year from THEN to get sealed? I'd rather just get married now. At least we'd be sealed sooner."
I agreed.
It was such a shot in the dark.
Some people I had talked to received cancellations in six weeks.
Some said six months.
Some said a year.
It was totally out of our hands.
When one of us said,
"We should just elope."
It was just a joke.
At first.
But after discussing the possibility of pushing the wedding further and further back, or having to wait an even longer time to get sealed, it started to sound like a good idea.
It was a lot of,
"Oh my gosh, we could totally do this!"
and
"What do you think our parents will say?"
and
"Seriously? Are we going to do this?!"
and
"Are you sure??"
Here's the thing with me:
I had been married before.
(Obvi)
I knew what I wanted.
The qualities and attributes I was looking for in my next husband.
I knew what I didn't want.
Jason possessed all the things I valued.
I already knew.
He'd make a great husband.
And father.
And step-father.
Here's the thing with J:
He was ready to find someone to marry.
He was ready to start a family.
He had dated.
His friends were all married.
Some were even having babies.
Twenty four and single?
In Mormon culture he was old!
And here's the thing with US:
We had known each other for 8 years before this.
8 years of friendship.
3 years of best friendship.
I knew him.
I really really knew him.
And he knew me.
We worked together in high school and would stay late sometimes just talking and laughing.
He was the best and closest male friend in my life.
We didn't need dating time to get to know each other.
We didn't need time to understand how the other handled certain situations.
Or how they were around their family. Or friends.
(We have all the same friends)
We knew.
And when we crossed the line out of the Friend Zone,
and it felt right,
then that was that.
We both knew it was right.
And we wanted our life together to start.
So after about an hour and a half of back and forth and
"Can we really do this?!"
We made the decision.
We're doing it.
This week.
Friday.
Now, who wants to tell their parents first?
We decided we would tell his parents at dinner that night.
I called my mom on the drive there.
"So Mom, how would you feel if I told you Jason and I were getting married on Friday?"
(Laugh)
"Ummm…. Okay?"
I think she thought I was joking.
"Well… Okay then. We're getting married on Friday."
"Are you really??"
"Yep!"
I explained our reasons for wanting to elope.
Waiting for a cancellation that probably wouldn't come anyway.
I was also really tired of driving to the valley every weekend and trying to find places to stay.
She knew I was happy.
She had seen me in the lowest and darkest time of my life.
She was ready too.
Ready for me to be the daughter she remembered.
Now, on to the DeWitt's.
After dinner, Jason's parents were sitting at the table with us and Jason said,
"So uhh… How would you guys feel if we got married this weekend?"
Becky: "Great!"
Doug: (Laugh) (Hand over mouth laugh)
After we explained we were completely serious and our reasons behind it,
Becky was totally on board.
Doug, not quite.
He had some reservations about what an elopement might "look" like to outsiders.
He was worried about the family members that wouldn't be able to make it on such short notice.
(Namely Jason's sister Jill in Hawaii)
But after a lot of talking, it was a go!
Lots to do in just five days!
We called all our friends and families:
"We're getting married on Friday at 6 if you want to come!"
We reserved the church building.
The lady making my dress rushed to finish it.
Jasons sister Katie started on our cake.
We made some decorations for the relief society room.
We got our marriage license.
And Jill even surprised Jason the day before and flew in from Hawaii with her new baby boy.
Wedding day was here.
We decided we would go to dinner first before heading over to the church.
Cheesecake Factory.
My favorite.
It was the most awkward dinner ever.
Neither one of us touched our food.
We were so nervous!
There were some serious butterflies in our stomachs.
We kept looking at each other and laughing.
"I can't believe this is really happening"
"You are going to be my wife in less than two hours"
It was surreal.
We headed to the church and I got dressed in the mother's lounge.
When the ceremony started, we sat at the front of the room while the bishop spoke.
We didn't ask him to, but he made it a point to note that Jason and I were both temple worthy and would be doing this in the temple that day if we could have. I was grateful for that.
I was so nervous!
I kept fidgeting my hands and feet.
We held hands until it was time to stand up.
We "took" each other and exchanged rings.
And that was that.
The deal was sealed.
We spent the weekend in Scottsdale and even got our already scheduled "engagement" pictures done the next day.
We still talk about our decision to elope.
We talked a lot about it our first year of marriage.
It was so worth it.
We would make the same decision again 100x over.
The cancellation came.
In April.
9 months after we had been married.
6 months after our original wedding date.
We are so glad we didn't wait.
And one year later, on July 16, 2012
we were sealed in the San Diego temple.
With Navy in tow.
The last three years have been nothing short of perfect.
No, we do not have the perfect marriage,
but we fit together and get along together so well,
that life is almost always happy.
Marry your best friend.
That is how you ensure a blissful life.
