Never Let Go

I love General Conference. I think my heart grew 3 sizes.

It was so refreshing and exactly what I needed. It was what I needed, but didn't know I needed. I didn't feel like I was in a bad place or anything, there wasn't anything specific I was especially struggling with. It was just a boost to my soul and to my spirit. After conference was over, my heart felt like it was going to burst. I was so full of love and gratitude. I loved Jason more, I loved Camden more and I loved Navy more. I just wanted to be near them. I wanted to hug them and never let go. I could not get close enough. In my heart, I kept saying to Heavenly Father how grateful I was for my life, for the husband and the children He has given me. I felt so blessed, so lucky. I woke up this morning, and I was happy. I was happy to be mother and a wife. Happy to fulfill the responsibilities that go along with that. And then I made it a goal to do what I needed to do to keep this happiness, this heart full of gratitude. I want to always feel this way. 

Since I haven't posted in a while, I thought I'd share some pictures from the last couple months. 

February:

Navy 2 months {Feb 7}

We are putting grass in our front yard to get it ready to sell. We all helped shovel rock and dig up old tree stumps. It's still a work in progress.

March:

Navy 3 months {March 7}

Camden finally got a REAL bike. I had been feeling guilty because he was 4 and still riding a tricycle. We went to the store and had a really hard time getting him to pick one. He got on a few and rode them around the aisles. Of course, they put the bikes near the toys, so he was quite distracted by items on the shelves and crashed into the big $5 movie bins, into the other bikes, and even into some people. He finally chose this one, along with a Transformers helmet.

Easter

Happy Monday! Hope your week is totes awesome.

My violent shove into reality

This is a post script: This post started out as one thing and turned into something completely different. As I sat and typed, I had an epiphany. Because I feel so badly about my attitude and frame of mind, I hesitate to even post it. But I learned an important lesson today and I should share it with you. I hope it makes you stop and say a prayer of gratitude. I know I did.

It has been a while since I posted last but, what else is new? I probably say that at the start of every post. It's my standard introduction. My go to opener if you will. This way, I am relieved of coming up with something clever or witty to say. As long as I wait an appropriate amount of time between posts, my first line is a no brainer. And I seem to be rambling now, so I guess I'll get to the point since I'm assuming it's the reason you've stopped by. 

We have big and exciting things happening for our little family of 4. Well, maybe just one big and exciting thing. I hope you were not expecting bullet points of upcoming major events. 

After two years and hundreds of mariachi karaoke block parties later, we will be leaving house 1256 on 6th avenue. We have secured a lot and have started the process of building a new house. 

And because I feel you deserve bullet points, here's a list of things I will not miss about our first home, the things that make me raise my hands and sing praises when I think about moving:

*During the summer, three fans and a mini swamp cooler in our room do not keep us cool enough to sleep comfortably. When I was pregnant... forget about it.

*Three standing fans, all ceiling fans, a mini swamp cooler, an air conditioner and a window a.c. all running simultaneously and it never gets below 80 degrees. 

*The $350 power bill as a result from previous bullet point. 

*Nothing but water can go down the kitchen sink. And if by accident, something slips by you, it's time to rent a snake from home depot. It also means the bathtub will fill up with bacteria infested drain crud, and that means the bath toys must be bleached.

*When I am washing my hair in the shower, one elbow touching the curtain, the other touching the wall. 

*No dishwasher

Before I can even finish my list, I am overwhelmed with guilt. Look at me, complaining about my first world problems. I just had a serious reality check. I am ashamed of my ungratefulness. Maybe my bullet points should be saved for the things I am grateful for:

*I am grateful for a home that keeps my children warm in the winter and shielded from the summer sun.

*I am grateful for running water and modern plumbing. I don't have to walk 3 miles to get water for drinking, washing and bathing. 

*I am grateful I have a kitchen. I have plates and utensils. I have a stove to cook on and a fridge to keep our food in. At the moment, my fridge contains antibiotics for Navy. I have a sink to wash my dishes in  and water that flows freely from the faucet. 

*I am grateful to have witnessed 3rd world problems with my own eyes because, at times like these, it brings me back to reality.

We really are so lucky. No matter how small or inefficient our home may be. We are not only lucky to have place to live, we are lucky that our children are well fed and well dressed. 

Our children have shoes!

Our children have doctors and can get antibiotics when they have infections. We have doctors who can safely deliver our babies. They have the knowledge and the tools to save the babies and save the mothers if complications arise. We have formula if we are unable to breastfeed. We have the OPTION to not breastfeed. 

Our children have toothbrushes. Our children get to go to school. Our children get to learn how to read. 

Our homes have carpet and tile. We have couches to sit on and beds to sleep in. We have blankets on those beds. Our homes have air conditioners and heaters. They have electricity.

Our children ride their bikes on the sidewalk. We have sidewalks! We have parks where they can play. We have cars to get us there. We have grocery stores. We don't have to spend hours in our gardens with our babies strapped to our backs. 

We have unlimited water. We don't have to wash our clothes in the river. Our children don't have to bathe in it.

I could go on and on really, but I am humbled this tender mercy I have received today. Yes, I will have a dishwasher and an energy efficient home, but there are millions of other reasons to raise my hands and sing praises.